I know there is no such thing as being "neutral" when it comes to emotions, but I like to think that I don't allow them to take over (when I am alone all hell breaks loose). This month has been challenging for me emotionally and physically. My grandmother's birthday would have been on the 7th of this month. I miss her so much, and even though so many years have passed, I can't help but wish that it was a nightmare and that she was still here with us. My mom is torn between happiness during this month, missing my grandmother and my brother's birthday (9/11). I hate to see her so sad, and I wish I could comfort her but I can't even make myself happy.
School is becoming harder each week, and I couldn't handle the pressure anymore. I have put in my notice to my second job, and while it will reduce the stress in my life I will miss the people I've worked with so long, and of course the extra income. I have always complained about working there, but it wasn't about the people or the management - it was the customers that come to the place. I grew tired of dealing with the crap dealing with certain type of customers brings.
Finally, I have taken a different direction in regards to my relationship. The change didn't happen the way I expected it would. When I first made the decision, it felt like it was the right thing to do. I thought about the negative aspects of the relationship and the struggles. Being alone can be a scary thing, and feeling alone surrounded by people is worse. I suppose the decision is harder because I am still in love, it doesn't make sense to some to end a relationship when you still have feelings, but sometimes it's just not enough. I wish I could make things work out my way, for things to change for the better. I know sometimes things change for the better, but we don't realize it because "better" wasn't exactly what we wanted. I know time heals, but time isn't going by fast enough.
School is becoming harder each week, and I couldn't handle the pressure anymore. I have put in my notice to my second job, and while it will reduce the stress in my life I will miss the people I've worked with so long, and of course the extra income. I have always complained about working there, but it wasn't about the people or the management - it was the customers that come to the place. I grew tired of dealing with the crap dealing with certain type of customers brings.
Finally, I have taken a different direction in regards to my relationship. The change didn't happen the way I expected it would. When I first made the decision, it felt like it was the right thing to do. I thought about the negative aspects of the relationship and the struggles. Being alone can be a scary thing, and feeling alone surrounded by people is worse. I suppose the decision is harder because I am still in love, it doesn't make sense to some to end a relationship when you still have feelings, but sometimes it's just not enough. I wish I could make things work out my way, for things to change for the better. I know sometimes things change for the better, but we don't realize it because "better" wasn't exactly what we wanted. I know time heals, but time isn't going by fast enough.
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